.sunny sunday.

i dont believe you need a lot of material things to be happy. i agree that it can make your misery more comfortable but only to a certain extent;

being warm and crying would be a lot better than sitting outside in the cold and crying.

in saying that ive thought a lot about the personal objects that we love more than anything, they are normally small inanimate objects that we closely relate to a particular person or memory.

so really its the people in our lives that makes us happy, not the objects.

well i know this is old news, but i think we sometimes forget these simple things.

i do imagine myself living a life that involves the people i love, doing the things i love.

much like how im spending this lovely sunday afternoon.

im fortunate enough to have a semi clear sky, with the sun shinning and the birds singing.

so i sit here by the grass with my fake raybans on, a teapot of my favourite tea and a much loved magazine, in perfect bliss letting my mind wander.

as much as dreaming of an amazing house with gadgets and everything i could possibly want to fill it and make it feel like a home is something most people dream of also,

i find that my mind wanders and conjures up images of a small vintage style house, with a big coloured front door.

filled with all my prized and most loved possessions, mostly things i have been handed down from friends and family.

mismatched furniture, cushions and colour schemes, far from the organised and modernised living spaces we see pictured on television and in magazines.

i would be quiet content saving my money to spend on holidays with the ones i love, or just being able to buy small gifts that i know they would love and appreciate, rather than on fancy things that will no doubt collect dust and go 'out of fashion'.

i could drink from old (yet clean) jars instead of crystal glasses and have my everyday dishes comprise of different shapes, colours and sizes.

frames with photographs of my favourite memories lining the walls, and incense burning.

just to simply have a place that feels like home,to entertain and most importantly relax in.

where i can feel the breeze and sun on my skin and feel completely content with life.

much like i do now.

and most importantly, if the world sees fit, that i one day maybe share this life with someone important that i would call mine for the rest of my life.

to grow and change together and to experience what life has to offer.

life doesnt need to be complicated, just simply contain the things and people that make us happy and help us grow and learn through out the time where life challenges us.

love and peace. x

'no more dreaming like a girl so in love,

with the wrong world'

                              - blinding;

                                                         florence and the machine.

? ?

we do things together.
things that keep me company,
things that keep my mind busy.
we do all the things i should be doing with you;
laughing,
talking until the sun rises,
watching movies,
going on adventures,
and making memeories together.


..but i do not let him kiss my lips,
or touch me like i would let you.
his hands are not your hands,
and his smile is not your smile.
he holds me when i need him to,
but im not home.
[im not sure where home is any more..]
i feel comfort and warmth with him,
but not the fireworks.
he is a friend,
but not yet my best friend.
he feels like a stranger,
where you were not.
i wonder who you do these things with?
who makes you laugh,
and keeps you company?
do you let her touch your heart,
do you let her in?
is she just your friend,
to hold you when you need to be held
just to feel the warmth?


is she your forever?
or your for the time being?
much like my friend,
who is trying his hardest,
just to keep my mind of you.
its not fair,
but he does not seem to mind.
not for the time being,
but he is not my forever.

.future.

i want a job i love,
that will give me money to buy a house.
a big house,
that i can fill with amazing art work.
the rooms will have tall windows,
where i can sit and let the light shine on me.
[where i can feel free and at home all at once]
a place where i can relax, sit and think,
to have people over and laugh and eat with.
i want to have a house that is filled with good vibes,
that smells of incense and you can hear the birds song in the morning.
i want to fill this house with love, peace and happiness,
to share it with someone special.
someone whom i care so deeply about
and they feel the same in return.
where we have no thoughts to leave or run away,
but to sit comfortably in each others company to watch the sun set.
to make love and be in love,
to fight because we care not because we dont.
to be able to share all our happiest moment with friends and family,
i want everyday be a new adventure, with new hope and spirit.
[i want this house, this place and this life.]


~


i want a person i that loves me,
that holds me close never willing to let me go.
that isnt waiting for the right timing
or to see if it will work.
that wont keep me a secret,
and hide our friendship or love from the world.
that will take the risk and be proud of me,
that is not ashamed to call me his and hold my hand.
i want someone who is thoughtful,
that cares enough to say whats on his mind.
[the good and the bad]
i want someone who is my best friend,
that i can talk to about anything.
that will do the small things because they matter most,
and will surprise me with the things i love.
that will make love to me and only me,
that wont lie or cheat.
who looks into my eyes,
and says he loves me [and means it]
i want someone who kisses my forehead before we sleep,
and who does care what i look like in the morning.
someone that wants to stay in and watching movies with me,
that wants to cook dinner together.
that does anything to make me smile,
because thats the most beautiful part of a person.
someone that wants to go out and be proud to sit next to me,
to show me off to his friends.
i want someone who wants me for me,
with the good and the bad,
and will do anything to make me his.
- i want all of this because this is everything and more that i would do.
no hesitations,
no regrets.
[ill keep dreaming]

.3.

i want to fall asleep to your breathing,
listening to your heart beat.
warmth radiating from you body,
and the rain outside.
.
falling asleep to know ill wake to your face,
sweet and calm sleep consuming you.
no where else i would want to be,
and the only place i belong.
.
i will never let you go,
i will always be there to catch you.
just call my name,
and i will come running.
.
no matter what happens,
or what words have been said.
no matter how much time passes us by,
im there.

[i love you]
forever and always.

.2.

it reminds me of summer 2009-2010 <3


[And hey darling
I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah I want it but no I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home till they're singing

La, la la la la la la

'Til everyone is singing

La, la la la la la la
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well it might be for the best

And hey sweetie
Well I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't want to be leaving me
Yeah you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singing

La, la la la la la la

'Til everyone is singing

La, la la la la la la

If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well it might be for the best

You know you can't give me what I need
And even though you mean so much to me
I can't wait through everything

Is this really happening?

I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

La, la la la la la la

Now Everybody's singing
La, la la la la la la]


                                   -if it means a lot to you;
                                    a day to remember


this video is not the video for the song (they did not make one)
but im adding it just to listen. :)

.1.

you dont have to have an account to comment,
i would love to read your thoughts about anything,
my blog,
about your favourite things,
about life in general :)


love and peace.

.lucky.

i can be sad,
i know i write many sad things,
but things are actually pretty awesome.


i am very lucky and happy girl.
i have the most amazing people in my life.
i love and appreciate them all so much.

love and peace.

.its just that...

'i was just another promise that you couldn't keep'
                                                                   - i heard it's the softest thing ever;
                                                                     a day to remember.


i listen to this song, to the lyrics,
and i can relate to every word;
no matter how strong, wise and patient you think you are...
you can't always run escape from the 'bad things'.
you can't control other people;
their emotions,
their actions,
and especially the words that escape from their mouths to crush you,
to keep their own heads above water.
they are the ones that are in the wrong,
but will do everything within their power to blame you.


'just let me go for now ill be just fine, don't you know? don't you know?
now that im back on my own'


i lived without you once before,
i'm sure i can do it again.
i am back on my own and i'm smarter.
ill walk away from it all, time after time,
after being belittled, stared at, gossiped about, abused and blamed.
[for your wrong actions]
i have cried,
i have lost all faith in myself and pondered if your harsh words were true.
that if you could once speak highly of me and now speak so low of me...
what do i decipher as the truth and a lie?
i am having to deal with the repercussions of your mistakes,
all because you're not willing to.
[how is that fair]
when have i ever asked that of you?
is passing the blame really that easy to do,
than to take responsibility for your own actions.
[do you have a conscious?]
that method will only work for so long,
but you have taught me valuable lessons.
that friendship and love may not always be what it seems.


'i remember you, you took the easy way out when i gave you something to stand for'


turning and walking away may be easy for you,
but it was never easy for me.
i have seen and heard things that question my morals,
i did not judge or walk away nor speak ill of you because of such things.
yet you have the audacity to say i have no morals?
everyone has their own life experiences and make their own mistakes,
mine were not selfish or under minding.
[i guess that's what sets us apart]
it's unbelievable that i could call you a friend,
when i really had no idea who you are or what you could be.
i hope you don't hurt the ones that love you the most,
that trust you and believe in you.
maybe they don't know your past, have more faith,
or less belief in 'once a cheater, always a cheater?
you should remember what being with someone truly means.
[especially with that ring on your finger]


done and dusted.
love and peace.

.cant switch my mind off.

it breaks my heart,
it sends tears falling down from my eyes.
the blood rushes to my head,
it flushes my cheeks red.
[i want you here]
i want your smiling face,
your soft lips upon my forehead.
your arms around wrapped around me;
[where i belong]
i remember the first time i kissed your lips,
then fast forward to the last.
i remember thinking that this was goodbye.
my head and heart agreed on something for the first time in a long time,
but my heart is too stubborn.
it kept reminding my head of how much it loved you.
confiding our deepest and darkest secrets and emotions in each other
and with no effort at all.
falling harder and faster than ever before.
now we don't speak and all i want is to hear your voice;
[take me back there.]
to hold me, to tell me you will never let me go,
all i do is question it and what i need to do is let go.
[but i cant,
i hate it.]
i hate you for walking away,
that you were everything to me.
in such a short amount of time,
i never believed i would let you in so fast.
[and let you go so easy.]
i'm lost within myself, within my life,
my happiness doesn't depend on you,
but you brighten each of my days.
nothing matters with you beside me,
come home soon?
[please.]

a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve,

desperate for it to know better.

everyone sees it,

everyone feels it,

yet no one knows how to hold it.

to catch it when it falls,

to treasure it with love and care.

its been stood on,

cheated on,

broken into several tiny pieces.

[yet it still beats?]

it still trusts and hopes for another,

one to hold it in his hands...

and never let go.

{why?}