year in review.

My year in review.
2013.
It seems to have been a pretty lucky one for several people, myself included.
Of course it has had its good and bad times.
Fighting good against evil on several occasions but looking back I have some very fond memories.

I started my graduate year as a registered nurse at a private hospital.
I had the guidance of an amazing educator Nadia, I'm so blessed to have been chosen by this wise and beautiful soul.
I found my love for oncology greater than I expected and was lucky enough to get a permanent position back on that ward next year.
I also made so many amazing and beautiful new friends. We have shared moments that each of us understands when working as a new nurses, the struggles and the high feelings you get when helping someone in need.
We raised over $7000 for charity together.
I graduated from university and learnt to IV cannulate.
I went to my first patient funeral.

Two of my best friends got engaged on top of Mordor and I was asked to be Maid of Honour.
I cannot wait to be there to watch them and help celebrate their love and the start their lives together as a family.
They have showed me so much about love, compassion, loyalty and friendship.

I saw the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra play with Sarah Blasko.
I experienced Laneway Festival, Tegan & Sara, Matt Corby and Passenger.
I went to Crush Wine Festival and indulged in all the splendours SA has to offer.
I have grown to love board games other than scrabble and phase 10, I have read 15 books.
I threw my mum a surprise birthday dinner.
I have baked red velvet cake 7 times through out the year.
I ate sushi, played card games in the corner of the Fin Maccools pub with my closest friends for my birthday.
I travelled overseas for the first time and saw first hand another culture and way of life which made my appreciate the life we lead in Australia.

I started my clinical honours and have stuck to it so far, only 2 assignments to go.
I lost my grandfather to cancer before Christmas.
I received an amazing present from my cousin's boyfriend to see Josh Pyke in 2014.
I can now cross boxing day test match, ashes match and cricket at the MCG off my bucket list.
I completed the city to bay 12k run. (running and walking)

Looking back on 2013 makes me realise just how lucky I am.
This year even after all the things I've accomplished, I have felt like I have just existed through the days.
Working hard and learning so much during my grad year, I hope to live more next year and fully appreciate the life I lead.
Spend time with friends and get absorbed in the little things that make life worth living.
See the world and all the beauty in it.
Meet new people and experience new things.
I hope everyone has an exciting new year of new things and appreciating the old ones.

words of messy ink

I have this book I write in, I try to write in it when I feel sad or confused or happy.
Just a way to get all the muddle out of my head. Raw, often misspelt muddle.
Some of my entries are from this book.

Date: 20.12.13

Part One
I'm an emotional travesty.
A delicate flower picked and left to wilt.
It is surreal that you're gone.
Your soul has left this planet,
You took your last breath.
Even after seeing you, cold, lifeless, in that box.
We will miss you more than we know.
Such a big part of our lives, lost forever.
The pain has ended in many ways.
Yet the clouds fill the sky,
The thunder sounds.
You are buried deep now.
To finally rest.
See you on the next great adventure.

Part Two
You leave my world continuously,
Broken and confused.
Rotting from the inside out,
Losing hope.
Recovery emerges.
Life begins again.
It's the spring after the winter,
But like the seasons, you return..
Why?
What do I offer you?
A boost to your ego?
A way to pass the time..
When you're bored with your other toys?
To only toss me away again like an autumn leaf.
Not today.
You show yourself again,
Appear from the shadows and demand my attention.
On a day when my heart was already broken.
So there is nothing left to break,
Nothing for you here any more.

little lights

[I have all these notepad icons living on my desktop
thoughts written in times of despair and hope.
I hope this one doesn't get forgotten, it will be a delayed post due to my Internet playing up...again #firstworldproblems. right?]

Tonight I made my way to the grand old Thebarton Theatre and had the honour of watching live, with many others; quite a few many others, the one and only Passenger.
[He also goes by the name Mike]
Now that I have made my way home, done all the pre-bed rituals that inhabit me late at night, I'm not sure how to put the experience into words.
Firstly, he of course is amazingly talented, this is obvious if you just listen to his music.
But it's more than that..
He a good human being. He has done it tough as many other musicians have before him, yet he is still humble even with his fame now.
Now I'm not claiming to know him on any personal level, but this shone through to me tonight.
It was in his chats with his audience, how he wanted to get everyone involved, he joked with us and at him self.
He was real. He had an understanding for life and being in life, in the moment.
Appreciating it for all its glory.
You can hear this in his lyrics.
He knows where he has come from, where he is now, where he wants to be, even if the road is not mapped yet.
He will do it with grace and humility which is refreshing to see.
So I took a little piece of advice from him tonight.
[I've been trying to do this as often as I can by following some Buddhist truths, but a little friendly reminder in the form of Mike Rosenberg is nice]
I drove home, windows down, music off and was in the moment.
Luckily for me the night was just perfect, clear and cool. It made for a pleasant and calming drive home.
I returned home, waited for out sensor light to switch off, then laid down in the middle of our lawn and looked up at the sky.
The stars, even with the light pollution, were beautiful.
[Those little shiny balls of fire always are]
It is hard to remember to look up when we are caught so heavily in ourselves, past and future, to appreciate the now.
Then to my surprise I cried.. Tears for my close friend who has lost someone close to her. For the beauty of the night I just experienced and the good vibes streaming from the stage. For my grandfather who is stubborn and is on a time limit shorter than we expected. For the lovers and for the lost.
It was a strange moment but I took it and ran with it.
I'm trying to be closer to myself, know myself, pass on kindness to others and appreciate what life has in store for me.
Tonight was a wonderful reminder to look outside the box, out your window, from behind the screen of your phone, camera, computer.
Be there. Right there in it. Because you might not be again.
Actually you won't be, you won't be in the same time, or place and feel the same things again so why not enjoy it and express as much positive energy as you can.
Make life uplifting rather than drowning.

So as I part tonight I am thankful for my job and the people I work with, the money I earn pays for my life and the ticket to tonight's show, I thank Abby my beautiful friend for braving the world in her time of sorrow, to see the show tonight, I hope your heavy heart was lifted if only just a little [I'm thinking of you] and thank you to Mike for gracing us with your presence, beautiful lyrics, music and voice. Adelaide is once again much richer from your visit tonight.