words of messy ink

I have this book I write in, I try to write in it when I feel sad or confused or happy.
Just a way to get all the muddle out of my head. Raw, often misspelt muddle.
Some of my entries are from this book.

Date: 20.12.13

Part One
I'm an emotional travesty.
A delicate flower picked and left to wilt.
It is surreal that you're gone.
Your soul has left this planet,
You took your last breath.
Even after seeing you, cold, lifeless, in that box.
We will miss you more than we know.
Such a big part of our lives, lost forever.
The pain has ended in many ways.
Yet the clouds fill the sky,
The thunder sounds.
You are buried deep now.
To finally rest.
See you on the next great adventure.

Part Two
You leave my world continuously,
Broken and confused.
Rotting from the inside out,
Losing hope.
Recovery emerges.
Life begins again.
It's the spring after the winter,
But like the seasons, you return..
Why?
What do I offer you?
A boost to your ego?
A way to pass the time..
When you're bored with your other toys?
To only toss me away again like an autumn leaf.
Not today.
You show yourself again,
Appear from the shadows and demand my attention.
On a day when my heart was already broken.
So there is nothing left to break,
Nothing for you here any more.