Babble

So this thailand overhaul thing ive got going is much harder than i expected. My diet as hard as im trying is still not the greatest and in jase's eyes im not trying hard enough. But the exercise thing is better, im finding it easier to go after work. I upgraded my gym membership to an all gyms pass. Alllowing me to go to any goodlife gym! Which means i can train and do classes with my friends another good form of motivation.
Last week i work 5 days straight attended the gym 5 times two of which were double classes. Im slowly getting stronger and building stamina on the treadmill, 2ks isnt as horrible as it used to be, i can run constantly on 9 and tonight managed 3ks. May seem like a small achievement but for me who could not run around the block before collasping in a heap, ill take all the small achievements i get!!

I got my frankie magazine, that subscribtion was the best present ever, and this month contained the calender for july and august! Annual leave baby! I could finally write in my annual leave and thailand trip woohoooo. It is the best feeling ever! Im getting a little excited now its just over a month until i go on annual leave which also brings sadness because that means my rotation on st helens will soon be over. Its so nice to hear so many of the girls want me to come back there after my recovery stint. Im hoping to go back too but on another 12month contract between st helens and our chemo suite. I think oncology is where i want to be, i love the area and the patients! I dont think i could or really want to work anywhere else. Keep your fingers crossed for me to get the position! Well it will be nice to sleep in for a bit tomorrow but ill still be up early to train and bake a cake for one of my favourite nurses birthdays last saturday.

Ni,night x

another year...

death is such a hard thing to deal with, yet its the most natural thing.
oh how time flies by.
the past becomes nothing but a fleeting memory.
some we gladly let go, others we hold on so tight to and yet they slip through our fingers like sand.
3 years. a lot can happen in 3 years.
love lost, love gained and then lost again.
looking at a person who seems to be a figment of your imagination because they have changed so much.
the feeling is odd. like your reflection changing and casting a different image back at you.
yet there are others that hold you strong.
you realise that losing the battle was hard but it was necessary to win the war.
and then, you. still in my heart.
it hurts sometimes. the sharp stabbing pain of reality.
that you are not here.
how many times i wish i could have taken your place.
or wished to join you.
my work now is done with you in my mind.
my care is thoughtful and respectful.
imagining you and your journey trying to, even just a little, make things a better.
your smile a little wider. your heart ache a little less.
wanting to pass on your light and love.
we often reminisce the times you looked after us.
the adventures we went on.
the memories we have made and that will forever be in our hearts.
you pop in our minds from time to time when we are together and warm us.
we look after him. still cause mischief where ever and when ever we can.
nothing had changed yet everything has.
i know he misses you dearly.
we all do.

Rosalie Anne Brink.
11.6.2010