another year...

death is such a hard thing to deal with, yet its the most natural thing.
oh how time flies by.
the past becomes nothing but a fleeting memory.
some we gladly let go, others we hold on so tight to and yet they slip through our fingers like sand.
3 years. a lot can happen in 3 years.
love lost, love gained and then lost again.
looking at a person who seems to be a figment of your imagination because they have changed so much.
the feeling is odd. like your reflection changing and casting a different image back at you.
yet there are others that hold you strong.
you realise that losing the battle was hard but it was necessary to win the war.
and then, you. still in my heart.
it hurts sometimes. the sharp stabbing pain of reality.
that you are not here.
how many times i wish i could have taken your place.
or wished to join you.
my work now is done with you in my mind.
my care is thoughtful and respectful.
imagining you and your journey trying to, even just a little, make things a better.
your smile a little wider. your heart ache a little less.
wanting to pass on your light and love.
we often reminisce the times you looked after us.
the adventures we went on.
the memories we have made and that will forever be in our hearts.
you pop in our minds from time to time when we are together and warm us.
we look after him. still cause mischief where ever and when ever we can.
nothing had changed yet everything has.
i know he misses you dearly.
we all do.

Rosalie Anne Brink.
11.6.2010