so i thought id share a few of my loves...not all tonight but over time :) hoping in some more modern fairytale way that a cute boy, possibly french or knows french, [not an essential credential] may wander across this and want to shower me in gifts and woo me... or a boy i know simply has access to things i like... hahaha. a girl can dream. [i live in this dream world alot, i like my bubble :)]
really i just want to post about the things i love and see what others out there also enjoy :) so please feel free to share :)
i am unfortunately for the males out there a massive rose girl. i do love most flowers, come on if you buy a girl flowers she will feel like the luckiest girl ever... but i prefer roses. [other flowers have been known to give me headaches :( but they are just so gosh darn pretty]
1. roses <3
[i found all these images on a weheartit.com; search roses :) ]
ive never be one to have many girl friends, i find i can relate more to boys. even if i prefer dresses over pants and wine over beer. i guess i am not your typical tomboy. i spend time often trying to think the way a girl would, confused about the things that make sense in their head. but really its not about the gender of a person but the views and ideas they possess. i have fallen in love with people, not based on their gender but on who they are. who they are on the inside, what they believe, what they feel and how they conduct themselves. the ones who are optimistic and sensitive but also take pride in themselves and dont shy away from something because its not the status quo. this being either a person who is female or male, in saying that im know im not gay. but i dont think you have to limit who you love and care for by gender.
the struggles of the past year have definitely taken a turn for the better. the light has been found and im surrounding myself with it. with people that make me happy, who are honest and are not afraid to around me. i cherish those people dearly, more than they will ever know. i honestly feel so lucky to have been at the lowest of lows to then reach up and rebuild my life again. i went out with the boys on saturday night, it was lovely to laugh and share stories with them. i spent some time chatting with one of my closest friends about the ups and downs of life over a few cocktails. he is amazing in my eyes. and i love that after all this time i can happily say he is one of my closest friends. i definitely appreciate the male gender, even if i have had bad experiences with some, its not to say all are bad.
it was this night that reminded me of what life is about and not to take it for granted at any stage. its harder said than done of course, and you need to experience the bad to appreciate the good. its said so many times over and everyone tries to help others understand but at the end of the day you dont understand until you experience it. really, that is what life is. a collection of experiences that help you grow and understand what is important and what we can let go.
[walk away from the past, its done, nothing can be changed, the only thing you should take from your past is the lessons that you will learn. walk hand in hand with the beautiful souls you love, that make you smile and appreciate you. surround yourself with this bliss and positive nature as this is what will make for a bright future-skyelouise]
oh where this year has taken me thus far has been one hell of a ride. more ups than downs which i am proud to say, yet it may slowly be getting the best of me. in my past whine [i mean post] i mentioned a little something about the emergency department and my unfortunate 5 week date with said department. well 3 weeks in and im already running out the doors. i gave it the benefit of the doubt, mainly for my tutor not for myself, but trying hard to learn the most i can and build on all my assessment skills, which slowly have been growing. however i can confirm with complete honestly that i strongly dislike ED and i think it feels the same about me.
the loss of control for a person that needs to be in control is hard work, and doing things without really thinking is a scary thought to me. it is amazing the things these nurses are faced with each shift, some shifts can be lovely, others are like all hell has broken loose in the waiting room and they are placing bodies wherever they can fit a bed! i can say though, as much as no one wants to be in the corridor when they are sick, sometimes its the best we can do. and the nurses are definitely not happy about it! just another of the struggles of the job i guess.
NOW this was not the reason for the initial post, apart from extreme procrastination (im not sure how many times i have said/written that tonight) from an assignment that is due on friday, i just wanted to say a quick hello and mention to my beautiful soul, Renee she is my amazing shining star that actually gave me hope in the human race and loyalty of friends again.
[hi fwend!]
she has remarkably started her own little scribble page for her thoughts which i feel privileged to be able to read and sneak inside her head from time to time :) but really i just wanted to say how totally amazing i think she is. and she mentioned a little something about a person filling all the spots that others could not... and she is definitely that to me too! i honestly never thought i would have this kind of friendship again and be 100% comfortable as myself with her. thank you for everything from before, now and to come. we will have many amazing adventures! and we will not forget to document!
goodnight... as i try to complete this darn assignment!
first week of uni and man i've had a busy week. between finishing my theatre placement and getting sick i'm in a bit of a whirlwind. my last 3 days in the operating theatres were good. saw way to many bums, stretching way to far for my liking and a total right knee replacement which was amazing. i was in theatre with an awesome anaesthetist as well that took me step by step through the procedure as well as giving me a quick review of anaesthetics :)
we commenced back at uni as of last thursday the 1st of march, and i forgot how tiring it was. we met our tutor for our compulsory problem based learning (PBL) blocks and i am in the same group as my valentine with our amazing first year co-ordinator who is also now running our course. he looks tough but he's a softie on the inside. (fingers crossed he doesn't read that i've blown his cover haha)
and then yes, to throw a spanner in the works im currently getting cosy with a packet of codral, lemon and honey tea, my blankie and a box of tissues. i hope that it doesn't get any worse because that will be the end of my work shifts until i get better which i cant really afford. but alas on the other hand i start my dreaded emergency placement monday... maybe they will send me home sick? a girl can dream right, i really should stop complaining, suck it up and be grateful for what i have. i just don't see myself as an ED nurse.
i was lucky to have a week of partying before all of this began which may have added to my illness, being burnt out? i spend my weekend at my friends cocktail party at a place called limbo. free cocktails and dancing all night with 3 of the most beautiful dutch girls. we had some laughs and danced our butts off until 3am. which is a pretty good effort by us i think. it was nice to just let go and be crazy! its been such a long time since i've had a night like that, definitely one to remember :)
i am also very proud to say that i did a small amount of exercise today. not including my walks to and from the bus stop but i did a half run, half walk around the block. finishing up with a 30minute stretch. it felt amazing! just to get that burn in your lungs, even if mine are a bit phlegmy at the moment, and then to stretch everything was bliss. best part is... i've still got my flexibility. its the one thing that i'm aiming to keep now i've quit dance for good. god i'm missing it but i know that it would be driving be bonkers and its one less stress i need in my life. exercise is really good and important to some how incorporate into your life so make sure you try and make the effort to do so. its a good way to relieve stress too which leads me to my next drama..
one think that is frustrating me at the moment is, i'm without my beloved xbox! it was broken accidentally by my house-mates younger cousin over a week ago now. and it took him forever to get it out the house to be fixed! i'm still waiting as patiently as i can for it to return. and Renee (bless her cotton socks) has given me her old tv for my room which means the xbox will be re homed in my room. i don't understand how something like this can take so long, shouldn't it be his priority to get it fixed as quick as possible considering its not his?! i know id be feeling pretty bad and want to get it fixed as fast as humanly possible. i don't think he realises yet that he's going to go without it for a while before i can trust him again... and its funny because it fits his smart comment; 'and this is why we cant have nice things'
well that's is my ramble complete for one day. back to my tea i think. :)
