for you.

[Simply because I don't tell you enough]

It is so easy to get caught in all the things that don't really matter, and
christmas definitely is a time where we remember what means the most to us.
Tonight hanging out with my best girlfriend reminded me of that.
Especially of that feeling you get when you are beyond content, you're simply happy.
Even if your life isn't perfect and you may not have everything you want.
You still have enough to realise you are lucky and not to sweat the small stuff.
My lucky star is this girl.
She is one of the most best and beautiful people I know hence why she gets that title.
I appreciate all our walks and talks and everything in between.
We have known each other for almost a year now,
And even after such a short period of time I feel like we have known each other always.
I know, even now, she will never walk out and we will make and share memories for years to come.
I wouldn't change her one bit, we share so much in common and yet she still opens my mind and heart to new and exciting things all the time.
Our adventures will change and we will grow with them.
I'm excited to watch her grow as a person, to be married one day and be a mother.
I cannot put into words how much this single soul means to me and how much she saved me.
Renee my darling you are a treasure, please never change!
Love you face!!x

clarification

I don't hate you. Or blame you.
I saved all of those things for myself.
To consume myself with so you weren't tainted.
Don't you see?
No need to feel guilt. Or regret.
Why? When someone else is happy to pick up the pieces.
Just a silly little girl caught up in your pretty little lies.
Shattered trust. Dreams. Such a waste of time.
You are beautiful. Truly you are.
(Please)
Remember actions speak louder than words.
Keep your promises.
Walking away wasn't easy, but neither was staying in that limbo.
I appreciate your friendship, that is where it must remain.
~skyelouise

I can't swim..

'We're in the same boat' ? I don't think so. You can drill holes in the bottom
of yours but I'm out before you start rocking it. Ill get my own boat and
paddling like fuck to shore. I'm not going to let you drown my anymore.
~skyelouise.

[Its tiring trying to swim towards something that never seems to be getting any closer]

tegan and sara

tumblr loooove

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thoughts at..

1030pm

To be absolutely consumed by love,
to let every part of you open up to possibility
and feel the purity of another person's soul as it meets yours,
would be a mighty exciting adventure. ~ skyelouise.

Tomorrow's do to list.
1. Commence french lessons.
2. Realise I've forgotten everything.
3. Restart french lessons.
4. Put french dictionary on christmas list
4.5. Search words on google..accidentally end up on tumblr searching
pretty pictures and quotes.
5. Feed housemates fudge to reduce the risk of eating it all myself
6. Gym; work extra hard from eating too much fudge.
7. Shower and bed.
8. Repeat steps 1 and 7 the following day.

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ramblings

[more than you'll appreciate]

The negatives. The pain. They always seem to be so much easier to write about than love, and happiness. Why are we so caught up with the bad that we over look the good? Over analyse the good to pick out the bad and the unsure.
Pain is so easy to relate with, we all suffer at some point in our lives. We accept that we deserve it for some reason [something we did, something we said]
But we also laugh and love yet its harder to express [for me] those emotions.
Its nothing to be ashamed of, its to be celebrated. The reason for birthdays, valentines day and weddings. Yet we don't really flaunt our happiness, afraid of upsetting those who are not as happy. Why do we allow our negatives to consume our positives. Why is it ok to bring down other that are happy?
I'm embarrassed to express lust, happiness and such. Is it fear or rejection? Something that holds each and everyone of us back at some point.
The fear of pain, yet we freely let ourselves feel pain when we are too afraid [afraid to fall or hurt another] We leave ourselves wondering 'what if', feeling lonely and missing out. Regret. A horrible and often avoidable situation.. 
Another concern of my fear [social dynamics] they kill almost any freedom one wants to feel and embrace. Our worlds social dynamics are fucked, [fucked!]. I wish we could all say and do the things that are plastered over our blog's, tumblr, facebook and instagram. The social media to express and in turn be scrutinized over. The inspirational quotes and images that make us remember somewhere [deep down] to live our lives...
But do we actually act on this? Money, Courage, Motivation all inhibit us. 
I know I haven't , i shouldn't be so scared to say what i feel and what i want. Why follow the 'rules'? Why let the stigma of society consume us? Why?
Because humans are set in their ways, they are weak, they want to conform to majority. Social stigma will always stick, no matter how much we try and change the world's way of thinking. Why would you follow a minority with the chance of being outcast when its easier to follow suit of everyone else, even if its wrong. 
~ We can't say something without sounding too eager, if we do that you wont be interested, its the thrill of the chase isn't it? always playing games.
We cant be in love with the same sex, that's disgusting and not natural. 
You cant suffer from anything, you cant be sad, otherwise you are crazy or suicidal. you're weak!
Don't tell anyone anything, they will judge you.
You're not perfect, [no one is perfect] but you need to try and be perfect without acting like your are...
You can't live and love or you'll be branded a whore.
You can say how you feel about anything or you'll be a bitch. 
If you don't say anything you have no personality or thoughts of your own.
[so many words, so many meanings]
the worst labelling often used by those who feel threatened.
~You cant be friends with boys or you're a flirt. 
You can't have time to yourself; you're antisocial and have no friends. 
One thing after another. Life is hard.
The day we can be accepted for who we are the world will probably fall apart.
However we should embrace our positives and be able to share them not hide away from life.
Learn not to fear rejection and take that leap of faith.
One day? Maybe one day.

we meet again..

Again.

Another night the pillow cases are dampened by sorrow,

The endless white noise of emptiness and hopelessness 

from deep inside her heart.

Complete darkness consumes her.

When will it get easier?

Where does she go wrong?

Why? Why? Why?

The great want and need for it to stop.

To be content with her reality.

Stop dreaming pointless dreams,

Wash him from her mind.

No more chances.

No one last time.

Who is she kidding, when will she finally say no?

Now? For how long?

She is weak.

Pathetic.

It will never be good enough,

Will she ever good enough?

We accept the love we believe we deserve,

Little, imperfect, forgotten, 2nd best?

No. None.